Broad Irrational Thoughts in Line At Lowes

So I'm at Lowes purchasing lumber and hardware for another "Oh God, Saz is out in his garage workshop again" project, when I have quite the interesting encounter.  I had recently built a patio table (check it out!)  

And I was there at Lowes to buy the materials to build the matching bench. By the way, just thinking about all that lumber at Lowes makes a brotha's hands tingle! (Ok, may as we'll show you that, too!)

I know that you're thinking, "Wow! That man is an incredible craftsman!" But I can't take all the credit. I do use a LOT of plans from Ana White's blog, www.ana-white.com! That woman ROCKS!  But I digress. (Those of you who know me and have heard me lecture will find digression no great surprise!)

So I'm wheeling my lumber cart through the store, because after I had gotten all of my lumber on the cart, I remembered that I needed to grab some pocket hole screws (poket holes are awesome, and that's why you can't see any screws in the table top! Even though there are 118 2-inch screws in there! Ok, I gotta show you:

See! No visible screw holes! But again, I digress.)  These screws are located, not at the lumber end of this magnificently huge store, but all the way at the other end, in hardware.  This is where people buy all those "little items" that actually fit in a regular cart. But since I had wheeled my honkin' lumber cart all the way down there, I thought I'd go on and check out down there too. In order to avoid blocking the entire aisle with lumber, I stood a bit back from the person in line before me.  This left a bit of space, into which another customer (accompanied by her sweet, aged mother I might add) promptly stepped! As I was thinking to my self, "Hm.  Did she not notice me and my magnificent lumber?" The woman did turn around and notice me. She was very apologetic and told me that she was so, so sorry! And that she and her mom would gladly get behind me.  She went on, before I could even respond, to smack her open palm against her forehead several times while chanting "stupid, stupid, stupid!", Chris Farley style!

I calmly told her, "Please, go ahead. You have so few things anyway" and I smiled. She told me, "No! I feel so awful! That's like most inconsiderate thing I've ever done! I'm so stupid!" I said, "Really, it's not a problem at all! I enjoy my time in Lowes and will savor these extra few moments!" She replied by telling me that I'm the nicest guy ever! She also said, "You're like the sweetest guy! If someone would have jumped in from of me in line like that I would have lost it! Even though my mom is with me and she would have been all embarrassed! I'm always doing stupid things like that!" I told that it really was ok, and that it takes a lot more than someone stepping in front of me in line for me to get all upset.  Then she told me again that I was the nicest guy ever and that she wishes she could just let things roll off her back like that!  And because it was too perfect an opportunity, I said to her, "Are you sure I'm the nicest guy ever? I mean, because for the most part, I'm pretty much the incarnation of evil. Don't let this one act of kindness fool you into thinking it's actually representative of me as a whole!"--and I said all of this with a smile! She then proceeded to laugh and tell me, "God! You're also, like, the funniest guy! Maybe if I handled things like you do I wouldn't be having such a hard time all the time!"

So you'd think that I have to make these things up to make the point I've been trying to make in these blogs, but no! I see people talking to themselves in these distorted and unhelpful ways far too frequently!  Which brings me, finally, to our next error in thinking: Very Broad

In this very broad thinking error, you generalize beyond the specific facts of a situation and use words such as, "always, never, everybody, nobody, anything, and nothing."  Or you label yourself or someone else in a very broadly negative (or positive) way that goes far beyond the poor (or good) behavior that you were originally thinking about. You end up labeling people (or yourself) as "bad, stupid, ugly, lazy, incompetent, inadequate, worthless."  When we do this to each other, we are failing to recognize the richness and variety in each others' characters and abilities. And when we do it to ourselves, we actually deny ourselves that same richness and variety. And given my belief that one of the many wonderful things about human beings is our rich and sophisticated nature, I find doing this to ourselves particularly sad. Because you are so much more! And you have so much more value!

Remember: ***** If you have questions, comments, or challenges please feel free, no, feel encouraged, to post in the comments section below! Oh, I accept positive feedback, too! I'm just kind like that. 😉